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A worthless Conversation

October 28, 2010

Old Man – I think you are wasting your life. Now you need to become responsible Siddhartha. Tell me, what do you wish to do with your life?

Siddhartha – I have thought about it Sir. I wish to learn. Till date I have not and probably this is what I want to do.

Old Man – Wish to learn? What do you think you have been doing till date? You know you are through your schooling, through your graduation? What is left there to learn Siddhartha? You have been taught to do your maths, science, trained as an engineer. You have learnt how to dance, play guitar. What is it that you wish to learn more? Definitely something can be arranged.

Siddhartha – Yes, I have been educated, trained to do certain things, even to perform certain miracles, if I may say so, out of my intellect and abilities. But I wish to learn Sir.

Old Man – Wish to learn, wish to learn! What is it that attracts your attention and summons your intellect? What is it that you want to learn?

Siddhartha – That is indeed what I want to know from myself. I think that is the first step of my learning. I need to sit and think what is it that I wish to learn. Yes, that’s the word, Sir, “think” for myself. You know like in this life of mine what is it that is worth spending my time on. And then may be…

Old Man – What have you been drinking Son? Think, Learn, but have you not always been doing that? You have chosen your own fields, made your own path. You wanted to learn music. You chose guitar and then moved ahead. And who says you have stopped learning. You will continue to learn throughout your life.

Siddhartha – Yes Sir to a certain extent yes. I am lucky to have partly lived through that freedom, more so when I compare my upbringing to my compatriots. Needless to say that I am thankful for the same and probably that freedom is what is guiding me today to this stage; to the stage where I wish I had not spent those moments living a second hand life. To a stage where I wish I could go ahead and live an original life. 

Old Man – A second hand life..! An original life..! What are you talking about? You baffle me to an extent that I might get worried.

Siddhartha – (Smiling) now, how do I explain that? Let me try, but there is a big possibility that my words would fail to present my actual thoughts and that they might distort the picture. Nevertheless, with second hand life I meant, choosing and living a life lived by others, following what they did and doing the same. With second hand life, I meant a life which lacks originality.

Old Man – Originality! Are we all not original?

Siddhartha – Exactly, my point. We all are original and yet how many of are aware of the same and live the way they originally would have lived. Now, we all have a great need for acceptance. But how many of us have the courage to trust that our beliefs are unique, our own – Even though others may think them to be odd or unpopular. Robert Frost has said,

“Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less travelled by. That has made all the difference.”

You see Sir, I have decided to find my own walk now – My own way of striding and pacing.

Old Man – So what would our Mr. Original wish to do?

Siddhartha – I do not know! May be the same thing I am doing now. May be the same, after every Saturday party adapt myself to do my everyday business life. Or who knows, may be live a life of the poet himself. Or learn the language of the birds, talk to them and understand their world. Or to play the Persian reed pipe, to the dancing girls… Or just go about saving the forests you…

Old Man – What crap? Why did you do graduation in the first place, if all you wanted was to live like an arbitrary life?

Siddhartha – Sir, why do you call this life an arbitrary life? Would you not have liked to understand yourself and do what your heart said was right to do?

Old Man – I have listened to my heart. It asked me to do what I am doing. You talk about originality, following your heart. Tell me how would you survive, learning the language or birds? From where would you eat and fend for yourself? Are the birds also going to get worms for you lad?

Siddhartha – These questions, the fear of survival, the insecurity was not there in me when I was a small child. Tell me Sir, I fail to understand if these excuses come in built and it is natural for them to grow with us or have they been systematically put into our head by design!
Let me take the example that amused you, the example of learning the language of birds. Has anyone tried it and then given a detailed account that survival for a human being who has gone into this line would become a big question mark? Even if someone has, would his/ her analysis prove to be ‘the’ analysis under every time frame and circumstances?

A pause

What I am saying is… rather asking is, why fear? Why let the fear become the excuse: an excuse to not let me discover who I am; to let me discover what I truly want to make out of my life, and walk the path that I want to? Thoreau had said –

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately.
I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life
To put to rout all that was not life
And not, when I had come to die,
Discover that I had not lived”

Old Man – (Smiling) That’s nice indeed. You read Thoreau, Son instead go see those who do not get food to eat, how much do they crave for some kind of job, money just in order to survive. They are not in line to discover who they are and what they want to make out of life. All they wish for is survival, some kind of job and money. They…

Siddhartha – They Sir, are like this because they have no support from any of us. No, it is because the human race family is in shambles and those who do not have money are outcast, thrown out of this family.
This surely brings me to a point where I have to decide whether the fate of many you talked about should scare me to keep doing what doesn’t interests me. You know what I think it rather pushes me to live an original life and who knows may be find a solution to some of the issues.

Old Man – Not as simple as it sounds. (laughs) find a solution to the issues! The world is not easy, it is not easy. You will learn.

Siddhartha – And who says it is, but is not the human race I am part of filled with passion? And will not this passion alone lead to a better and beautiful world? You remember Sir the poem you had read to me once –

O Me! O life! Of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities filled with the foolish;
The question,
O me! So sad, recurring—what good amid these, O me, O life?
That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

I have decided to contribute a verse of mine Sir. I always thought that the idea of education is to prepare students to learn to think for themselves. I think I am prepared to start working on my Verse…

15 Comments leave one →
  1. Rihana permalink
    October 28, 2010 13:52

    🙂 Impressive. The conversation comes flowing gently and hits you right on your face. Why “worthless” though?


    • October 28, 2010 14:08

      Hope it did not damage to the already injured nose. ha ha
      Worthless coz tht was the closest synonym i could find to useless.. :). Worth in worthless refers to what today alone is considered to be worthy… And Lo! suddenly all the doubts vanished into the thin air. 🙂


  2. Rihana permalink
    October 28, 2010 14:14

    Very funny. No it did not.
    Hmmm, I think I get it. No doubts remain and it is All Clear now 🙂


  3. Desba permalink
    October 28, 2010 18:06

    Quarterlife crisis leads to this conversation within everyone.
    So dont worry… you got lot of company


    • October 28, 2010 18:20

      Company yes.. I was reading about this term – Quarter life crisis. There are two things that emerged out –

      1. The word was first used in 2001. The crisis is not an old prob that means…
      2. The victims are usually ‘educated’ young people, who face this as they enter into ‘real’ world…

      They do talk about the design of system which i think we had talked about earlier sometime 🙂


  4. Achal Kothari permalink
    October 28, 2010 19:19

    Jai jo ..Konsty Baba .. Verses or Sermons will definitely contribute


    • October 28, 2010 23:10

      Pehle to it is C not K.. 🙂 Doosra kahein public mein le rahe ho dost…


  5. Aravind permalink
    October 29, 2010 07:20



  6. mahe permalink
    November 26, 2010 13:52

    mast likhe ho baba 🙂


  7. Madhur permalink
    December 8, 2010 06:39

    Hi Amit,
    Your blog posts are very interesting.
    keep writing, good flow.

    i want you to check out my poems at


  8. ajay permalink
    June 17, 2012 16:13

    do we really need a company of friends, or just a single friend or even do we need anyone, to accompany us in the life’s journey? I honestly crave for a very good circle of friends. BUt one dear person asked me , ” agar dost nahi bhi huye to kya koi mar jaega ?”



  1. The Moneyless Man « Amit Deshwal's Weblog

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